'He couldn't find any trains going to Hawai'i': 40 People share the moment they realized someone was dumb as a rock

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Feb 27, 2023 3:00 PM EST

There's billions of people in this world, and they can't all be geniuses. Some don't even have a drop of common sense. You're going to meet many people from all different walks of life and varying educational backgrounds, but sometimes people just say stunning things. Prompted by a famous quote from George Carlin, people shared their stories of the times they realized they were much smarter than the person they were chatting with. 

These people aren't your average run-of-the-mill dum dums. No, this is advanced stupidity, the kind that makes you worry for their safety. Some people just aren't taught simple life lessons, like one guy who was infuriated that he had to wear his glasses to the DMV, or another who called emergency services because there was no mayo on their sandwich. 

After you check out these face-palm worthy fails, see why this woman really wants to start calling her noisy neighbor a "Karen."

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  • 01
    Natural environment - r/AskReddit. Posted by u/Darth_Boot George Carlin said "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." What real life example have you seen that validates this view?
    via Brian Holdsworth
  • 02
    Font - r/AskReddit Posted by u/Darth_Boot 2 99 2 S George Carlin said "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." What real life example have you seen that validates this view?
    via u/Darth_Boot
  • 03
    Font - inthebathroom101 Friend of mine showered in cold water for a year cause he never thought of turning the other tap to see what it would do.
    via u/inthebathroom101
  • 04
    Font - replayii The woman that called into a radio station to complain about the deer crossing signs on a highway saying that the deer will see the sign and consider this place a safe place to cross the road.
    via u/replayii
  • 05
    Font - vibe666 At a work Christmas party in a Mexican restaurant, an Irish colleague was trying to argue the pronunciation of "jalapenos" with the Mexican waitress was "ja-la-pen- nose". He wasn't joking and got so upset with her "taking the p out of him" that he made a scene and we almost got thrown out.
    via u/vibe666
  • 06
    Font - ThatVoice Dude Customers arguing that their tattoo is backwards while their artist tries to explain that no, your tattoo is fine, it just looks backwards because that's how mirrors work
    via u/ThatVoiceDude
  • 07
    Font - Oscar Divine I'm a physician. Eye doctor specifically. I will tell you that the longer I work (now 15 years), my standard for the "average" person continues to decline. Case in point: Thanks to the awful information filtering out there, I had a patient just last week who read that Vitamin D helps you resist a Co havirus infection. Well, he had also read that you can get more Vitamin D by getting more sun. So he wanted to "collect" as much light as possible with his eyes. As a result, he s
    via u/OscarDivine
  • 08
    Font - VetMichael Oof. Good one. Okay; so my favorite was a guy who was planning his honeymoon but he didn't have a lot of money. He was bummed about the cost of air travel. A friend suggested a train ride m8ght be cheaper. He became frustrated after a few days of trying and complained that he couldn't find any trains going to... Hawai'i It still didn't sink in because he had seen pictures of trains in Hawai'i. He couldn't grasp that they were shipped there. It got even more surreal after that.
    via u/VetMichael
  • 09
    Font - HermanManly A girl in one of my college classes argued that heart transplants shouldn't be allowed because "that's where the feelings are" and the person receiving the heart wouldn't be the same person anymore.
    via u/HermanManly
  • 10
    Font - halfblindhippie I do aquatic habitat restoration in a spring-fed river that people frequently tube/float on: Myself and numerous others have been asked if it comes back around so they can get out...
    via u/halfblindhippie
  • 11
    Font - Rudeiris Old boss had a morning routine of walking around the office with a bucket. He was watering all of the plastic flowers.
    via u/Rudeiriss***
  • 12
    Font - Stonewall5101 I just had a customer yell at me for putting their eggs in a separate bag, saying they don't want all those bags and the paper ones always rip. Before putting it in the bag and throwing a pound of flour on top... It was somewhat satisfying seeing their face as we heard the cracks, until I realized I'm the one who needed to clean it up. Oh also she complained that we hadn't warned her about the fragility of eggs.
    via u/Stonewall5101
  • 13
    Font - Nymbleminx At the DMV. I went to renew my license. I was waiting in a room with the computers that people use to take the written portion. The clerk sat a man down looked him in the eyes and said "if you pull your phone out it's an automatic fail." The window licker says "aight" while pulling out his phone and immediately failing.
    via u/Nymbleminx
  • 14
    Font - spaceyfacer I saw a guy im front of me at the DMV fail the eye test, and tell the employee he has glasses but they're at home. He got really mad when the employee told him he has to come back with the glasses and re-take it.
    via u/spaceyfacer
  • 15
    Font - kindarusty About half the calls I take on a daily basis. People call 911 to ask whether Walmart is open. To report that they didn't get enough mayo on their burger. To complain that cleanup at a fatality wreck is taking too long. All sorts of silly, out of touch s. Granted, there is probably some level of mental illness and/or substance abuse present in those calls. But still.
    via u/kindarusty
  • 16
    Rectangle - kattiko Getting a misdialed call from a random person who gets mad at you because you're not the one he/she was looking for. Happens with me several times a year.
    via u/kattiko
  • 17
    Font - [deleted] I kept getting voicemails from some dude I didn't know, really angry s like yelling at an ex or something. First time I actually answered I told him wrong number. Several voicemails later and I answered again and said "I've told you this is the wrong number, you need to stop calling me." His response was "you need to stop telling me what to do!"
    via u/deleted
  • 18
    Font - Croesus 90 I once owned a SmartCar and some "1 stranger approached me at a gas station about why I didn't have a "Slow vehicle" sign in the back of it [...] since all moped-cars must have that!". I tried explaining that it was a real car - just a bit smaller - but he didn't take it. According to him I was driving illegally and he was surprised the police hadn't stopped me yet on the highway.
    via u/Croesus90
  • 19
    Font - CTeam19 My Dad is a pesticide investigator for the state and heard this on a complaint: "I set out all these bird feeders and bird baths but not one bird comes to my yard. I bet it is all those pesticides that crop duster is laying down in the field" -- local school board member, as they were standing in her 5 acre yard with 20 or more cats running around.
    via u/CTeam19
  • 20
    Font - Toomanyplantfriends I used to manage a retail store that sold teen clothing, so as expected, I primarily had teens working for me. One employee came to the back room while I was on break and asked what I was eating. Somehow the topic turned to how I should've brought chicken for lunch because she wanted chicken. I told her I was vegetarian and therefore don't eat meat.... She tells me chicken is NOT meat. It's "poultry", and vegetarians can eat poultry??? She said at the grocery store the
    via u/Toomanyplantfriends
  • 21
    Font - Geeseinfection I worked in retail for a few years and it taught me that many people are either incapable or unwilling to read. I have had people walk up to me to ask me how much something is, only for the price tag to be featured prominently on the item. "It's $9.99, ma'am." "HOW DID YOU KNOW?" "It says so on the price tag, ma'am."
    via u/Geeseinfection
  • 22
    Font - ZeldLurr When working at a restaurant, I waited on a large party and gratuity was automatically added by the computer. After handing out the check, a few minutes later the guests comes to me looking very angry. "Whatis this GRAVITY charge? Why you chargin me for GRAVITY?"
    via u/ZeldLurr
  • 23
    Font - 2112user I worked with a lady who was remarking on how a friend of hers had lost a bunch of weight. She pondered, "I wonder how many diet cokes she had to drink to do that." EDIT: Same lady was convinced beyond repair that when you sneeze, the air ONLY comes out of your nose. There was no convincing her otherwise.
    via u/2112user
  • 24
    Font - estrogyn I teach 6th grade. One time a parent came to me after trying to help their child with math homework and asked, "What number is x worth? It feels like it changes with every problem!"
    via u/estrogyn
  • 25
    Font - FalseAlarmEveryone #1 Top Comment 3 & 15 More "There is a considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists." -Yosemite Park Ranger on why it's hard to design a bear-proof garbage can.
    via u/FalseAlarmEveryone
  • 26
    Font - FlyingADesk I used to work in Banff National Park. One day at the end of the tour I was driving some guests back to their hotel and a woman was adamant that Banff was clearly a very dangerous place to visit since we "just let wild animals run around everywhere! They should be in cages!" Had to fight the urge to throw her off the bus pretty hard.
    via u/FivingADesk
  • 27
    Font - Some other gems that came up in the past include a guests insisting he needed to change money they got in BC to Alberta currency (not a real thing). A man arrived very irate that the entire Trans-Canada highway was not lit with proper street lamps every 100 yards (that would be a stunning waste of energy, not to mention probably cost more than our national budget... and you car has lights on it!). More than a few have grossly underestimated the distances involved in a country like Canada.
    via u/FivingADesk
  • 28
    Font - Bclay85 I worked at a bank. Mobile depositing had just became a "thing". We received a picture of someones cash for deposit. Yea..
    via u/Bclay85
  • 29
    Font - A former coworker was talking about how she wanted to go back to school to get her masters' degree because she only had a "bachelorette" degree and wanted more job opportunities. I said, "Do you mean a bachelor's degree?" She INSISTED it was pronounced bachelorette when it was given to a woman. Then she led me back to her office and pointed at her diploma, to the word Baccalaureate, and said, "SEE?! Bachelorette!"
    via r/AskReddit
  • 30
    Human body - sweatycflaps I had a bald man return a hairdryer because it burnt his head.....
    via u/sweatyc***flaps
  • 31
    Human body - BobMightBeCool Every time I put on my glasses so I can see better while looking for my glasses.
    via u/BobMightBeCool
  • 32
    Font - RXIXX777 When farms have trouble producing their crops, and you ask some dips t if that worries them: "I don't get my food from a farm, I get it from Wal-Mart."
    via u/RXIXX777
  • 33
    Font - Toadie9622 I'm an insurance claims adjuster. If you truly knew how many stupid drivers you're sharing the road with, you'd never drive again. Edit because I keep getting this question: I avoid driving whenever possible. I have a car, but I take the bus to/from work. I never drive at night.
    via u/Toadie9622
  • 34
    Font - pauliep13 I work in highway safety, can confirm. I can no longer count on two hands the number of people I've stopped with in the middle lane of traffic on a freeway, with no bigger problem than a flat tire. When I question them as to why they stopped in the middle of a freeway, the typical answer is either the vehicle wouldn't go any further, or they don't want to damage their rim. I swear to whatever you want me to swear to, people will put the well being of the rim on their car above t
    via u/pauliep13
  • 35
    Font - ByTortheman I work at a restaurant We were low on tomatoes for our tomato soup, so one person grabbed potatoes to see if we could use those instead.
    via u/ByTortheman
  • 36
    Font - krabbiepatties795 I worked at Little Caesars and we were proofing the dough for pizza. My boss said (at 7pm) that the dough needed to rise for 12 hours, and took out her calculator to do the math. So I said ummm that's gonna be 7am. Then she said the dough will expire in 48 hours and started doing the math again. I told her it would expire two days from now, and she said "that's kinda weird how that works out huh?" I quit shortly after that.
    via u/krabbiepatties795
  • 37
    Font - cjfreel Not necessarily the exact thing you're looking for, but when I was in High School I once had a friend come up to me bragging about his PSAT. I recognized immediately that he got a pretty poor score. When I mentioned to him that I didn't think it was a very good score, he confidently proclaimed: "But it says I'm smarter than 15% of Juniors, and I'm only a sophomore!" To which I rebutted: "Yeah, but imagine the DUMBEST 15% of people. That's not very good."
    via u/cifreel
  • 38
    Font - the Headless EdTruck37 I had a friend once who truly believed that magicians like Chriss Angel and David Blaine had some kind of magical power or telekinesis, something along those lines. While watching one of those magicians on tv performing on the street he argued "how could this be fake? Look at all those people. Cant fake all that. Has to be some kind of power or magic." I would then have to ask do you realize that movies are fake? They fake entire universes, planets, cities, war, etc
    via u/theHeadlessEdTruck37
  • 39
    Font - 1921Zeljo In grade ten, we had a science test, and the teacher gave one point for putting a date on the paper, and one point for your name on the paper....and then there were 98 points for the rest of the test. A guy sitting in front of me got 0.5/100....didnt write the date and only wrote his first name....
    via u/1921Zelio
  • 40
    Font - [deleted] One of my closest friends. Really good guy but well... I'm learning Spanish and I once told him I was reading this Don Quijote book. I complained about how difficult it was because it was written in 1605. And he said "Wait... Spanish existed back then?"
    via u/[deleted]
  • 41
    Font - hockeyboy05 Our town was live streaming a holiday parade in case you were not able to make it out in person. This included a live chat feature as well. One mother who lives nearby wrote into the chat that her daughter didn't get outside in time and asked for them to turn around and come back to her Street.....
    via u/hockeyboy05

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